4/1 – 4/7
failed to plan. our instincts push us to map the future, must remember that’s impossible. there’s never a wrong place to be.
looked up homologous: correspondence or similarity in form or function between parts (such as the wing of a bat and the human arm) of different species resulting from modification of a trait possessed by a common ancestor : similarity of traits reflecting common descent and ancestry.
shared an elevator ride with a man so impatient he hit ‘close door’ button before choosing his floor.
4/8 – 4/14
figured it out: dogs are better than cats are better than small dogs.
am most egalitarian after orgasm, most forgiving when the electricity returns following a long outage, and most likely to be confused with an x-man if both occur simultaneously.
think webmasters should sort state by population not alphabetization. numerous new yorkers shouldn’t have to toggle down-arrow because of not so numerous nebraskans.
read she comes first: the thinking man’s guide to pleasuring a woman (2004).
during the tang dynasty, the empress wu hu ruled china. she knew that sex and power were inexorably linked, and she decreed that government officials and visiting dignitaries must pay homage to her imperial highness by performing cunnilingus upon her. no joke. old paintings depict the beautiful, powerful empress standing and holding her ornate robe open while a high nobleman or diplomat is shown kneeling before her, applying his lips and tongue to her royal mound
the skin is our largest sexual organ, and our entire body, from head to toe, is one big erogenous zone
even a sheet of saran wrap will do; just make sure you’re using the nonmicrowaveable kind, as the microwaveable sort isn’t impervious to bacteria
watched death on the nile (2022). gal gadot ethereal but prequel superior.
designed a wheel of fortune puzzle. RSTLNE gives “__RDER _N T_E _R_ENT E__RESS.” clue is: everyone did it.
4/15 – 4/21
sunbathed with two friends of thirteen years. dad proclaimed mom dickensian hybrid of scrooge and tiny tim, noted crutches and coin counting.
would buy a godzilla halloween costume, pacifier, rattle, maybe a bonnet. tramp around the city and smash mailboxes and newspaper stands, like a good baby godzilla. a world without consequences shouldn’t be just bank robberies, you know.
think mosquitos are foot fetishists. and swahili has its flaws. and the onion will always be the best.
kartika upadhyaya
Kartika Upadhyaya 